


and it's on and off (but endures)

by w_hope



Series: KHR (Crossovers) One-Shots [3]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, And I mean VERY, Arcobaleno Curse (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Friends, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Don't copy to another site, Emoting Reborn, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Colonnello/Reborn/Lal, Implied/Referenced Parricide, Implied/Referenced Reborn/Lal, Light Angst, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Minor or Background Arcobaleno, Minor or Background Colonnello/Lal, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, Snippets, Time Skips, Very Soft Colonnello, not sure yet how reborn's chapter will turn out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/w_hope/pseuds/w_hope
Summary: Maybe first loves don’t often last, but against all odds this one does.
Relationships: Colonnello/Reborn (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!)
Series: KHR (Crossovers) One-Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206794
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	and it's on and off (but endures)

Before Lal, there's Reborn.  
  
(And then there's both Reborn and Lal, but that's not the point.)  
  
Reborn is the new kid at school, and within the day he's everything everyone's talking about, and within the week it's as if he was there all along.  
  
Colonnello hears all the rumors and the words of mouth about him, and doesn't understand how none of them manage to be true.  
  
Reborn is always surrounded and welcomes the crowd, but he only ever lowers his guard when they give him room, and relaxes only when he's alone.  
  
Despite the care he takes at always being impeccably dressed, he allows the touches. They’re playful, always, but never too spontaneous, or quick, or rough.  
  
Playful taps and shoves and slaps, the occasional grabs, or a hand around his shoulder, rarely side and half hugs, and rarest more the ruffling of his hair.  
  
Maybe it's because it’s too close to his face, and it wouldn’t feel nice if Reborn actually bit their hand off.  
  
Colonnello rolls his eyes, and privately thinks them cowards.

 _He’d_ do it, solely to watch Reborn lose his shit, and see what he’d do about it when Colonnello is half a head taller than him, and all around bigger.  
  
~~He doesn’t want to ruffle his hair so he’d know if they’re as soft as he thinks they are; isn’t scared of the dark anymore because it makes him think of the color of his hair, and how nice they’d feel, silk-like between his fingers.~~  
  
Reborn allows the touches, but always brushes himself off when they’re not looking, never leaves the classroom at the end of the last class without looking once more as perfect as when he came to school that day.  
  
For all he’s always the center of attention Reborn is quiet, and for all he’s described as pleasant to be around he only smiles when it’d be too weird for him not to, and it always makes Colonnello wince.  
  
Colonnello doesn’t know all that because they’re friends.  
  
He steals glances from his seat in class, or across the cafeteria, or during breaks. And maybe he happens to be around Reborn often, but they’re students in the same school in the same class, so it’s hardly his fault.  
  
“Perfect score again Reborn,” mister Ricci praises, “congratulations.”  
  
He doesn’t say it’s also the best score and none of them did better than him— _again_ —, but everyone hears it. His friends teasingly clap him on, and then the whole class is.  
  
Colonnello scowls and slumps in his chair.  
  
Reborn catches his friends’ eye and pretends to be annoyed, modestly smiles at the others like his eyes aren’t full of pride and smugness.  
  
[It’s always all in his eyes and never in his not-smiles.  
  
Colonnello _swears_ Reborn’s eyes are darker than the night itself.

His mom says no one has really dark eyes, but she’s never seen Reborn’s.]  
  
What a teacher’s pet. And a students’ pet. An _everyone’s_ pet.  
  
What a lame thing to make a big deal about.  
  
Reborn’s catches his eye, holds his gaze, and Colonnello frowns.  
  
Reborn tilts his head, smirks, and it riles Colonnello up like no tomorrow.  
  
His funeral.  
  
[ ~~It might be the first meaningful exchange he has with him, and he doesn’t spend the rest of the day thinking about it.~~ ]

* * *

“Colonnello, congratulations, perfect score!” mister Ricci cheers. “See, you can do if you put your heart to it.” He’s all surprise that would have stung, but mister Ricci is one of the good ones, and it’s all genuine encouragement.  
  
Damn right Colonnello can do it!  
  
He doesn’t know about heart, but he sacrificed his night and his sleep so he could study the test in and out, and the perfect score on top of his paper is more than worth it.  
  
Colonnello grins down at his test, ignores the playful shove in his back, and the hand in his hair, and the teasing whistles. He looks up into dark—dark, _dark_ —eyes, and raises an eyebrow.  
  
Reborn gives him a dark look, his face unbothered but his eyes a furious sea.  
  
Colonnello falters.  
  
He grins wider, and raises his other eyebrow.  
  
What, Lord Reborn doesn’t like sharing the attention?  
  
Tough luck.  
  
Reborn smiles, and this one doesn’t make Colonnello wince because it isn’t meant to be a smile. It does light a fire inside him.  
  
He’s _so_ on.  
  
[When his parents ask him about his sudden devotion to his studies, he tells them he should, in fact, take them at least as seriously as he does basket-ball.

He doesn’t mention the Night Born Boy who notices him only when he beats him at tests.]

* * *

His dad’s car broke down, and Colonnello runs in late to school.  
  
Reborn looks above his shoulder at the sound of his footsteps, as Colonnello hears the cries of the boy being bullied around the corner.  
  
He rounds the corner, and almost doesn’t stop at all.  
  
He slams into the closest boy, and before his friends can even understand what’s happening, he shoves them away and on the floor with him.  
  
“What the hell are you doing?” he shouts. They don’t even have the guts to pick at someone their age, and Colonnello _hates_ people who prey on weaker than them.  
  
He’d know, Luca is in his year, and he’s glad he doesn’t know the name of these guys.  
  
It makes it more difficult for him to resist the urge to hit them more, but he _swears_ he’ll do it if they stand to do anything else than leave.  
  
He roots his feet in the floor in front of Luca, and raises his fists. “I will tell the teachers no matter what you do now, so try to hurt me if you can.”  
  
There’re four of them— _four_! What pathetic cowards, Colonnello swears he‘ll make them spit out their teeth—, and he regrets taking a stand in front of Luca in case they’ll attack him all at the same time.  
  
What seems to be the leader stands, hot in the face from anger, and roughly hauls his friends up on their feet.  
  
“Who the hell do you think you are?” He marches forward, and Colonnello throws a warning fist before he can get too close. He sneers. “You think you can win against all of us? We’ll show you—”  
  
“Miss Mancini’s coming,” Reborn says. The group of bully tenses, and whips around to the voice. Colonnello doesn’t take his eyes away from them. “She’s coming right now.”  
  
“You’re lying,” one of them taunts.  
  
“You might miss her if you go now, as she seems busy with another teacher right now. Though I really don’t care what you do. Actually” —Colonnello hears the mockery in his tone— “it’d be funny to watch her go off on you.”  
  
Luca scrambles to his feet and run, and Colonnello shoves himself between him and the bullies when they make to go after him.  
  
“Miss Mancini!” Luca calls out. “Miss Mancini please, hurry up!”  
  
“Shit, she’s really here! Sergio, we need to go!”  
  
Sergio rips his arm off from his friend’s grip, and glares at him. “They’re lying.”  
  
“What if they aren’t?” another one of his friend says, and already stepped back a couple of steps.  
  
There’s a relieved undertone in Luca's voice. “Miss Mancini, please hurry, they want to run away!”  
  
Colonnello sees the exact moment when Sergio gives in. _Of course_ he does, cowards always do.  
  
“Shit! We’re not done blondie, don’t let me catch you again.”  
  
They run tail, and he watches them until they round the corner, and miss Mancini never shows up.  
  
Colonnello lowers his fists. He turns around to Luca, and looks him up and down to try to assess the damage.  
  
“I’m fine,” Luca blurts out. “I’m—” he laughs, and shakes his head. “I’m fine, more shaken than injured. Thanks to you. Thank you so much, Colonnello, Reborn.”  
  
Colonnello smiles. “No problem. Just scream next time, alright? And you should probably go see the nurse anyway.”  
  
“Yeah, will do. I’m… gonna go look for an actual teacher, I guess.”  
  
“You do that.”  
  
Luca nods, and goes the opposite direction from the bullies. Only then Colonnello looks at Reborn.  
  
He’s leaned against the wall, his arms crossed on his chest, and his ankles crossed. He straightens when Colonnello catches his eye.  
  
“You just stood there,” Colonnello accuses.  
  
“You’re welcome. They were four of them, you know? I know you can count up to four at least.”  
  
“He was being bullied, _hit_. And you just stood there.”  
  
Reborn shrugs. “I was waiting for them to clear the way so I could go back to class. You’re late by the way.”  
  
“’You were waiting for them to clear the way’?” Colonnello closes the distance between them in quick, wide steps, and the way Reborn tenses is the only thing that stops him to close in entirely. “You could have at least go look for help!”  
  
Reborn raises an eyebrow. “You think you helped him? That he actually went to tattle to the teachers?” He scoffs. “You played hero, good for you. If you don’t want to make it worse for him you’ll shut your mouth too.”  
  
Colonnello lifts him up by the collar, and they’re eye to eye. “At least I did something! You’re just as bad as them.”  
  
“Let me go.” Reborn digs his nails in his wrists, and his words come out through gritted teeth. “Let me go _right now_.”  
  
Colonnello lets go as if he was burned.  
  
Reborn doesn’t like to be touched, he _knows_ that.  
  
He’ll make sure to apologize, he will, but right now—  
  
Right now he doesn’t think straight, and a voice muffled by his anger tells him he hasn’t any ground to lecture him.  
  
What does he care if Reborn turns out to be a complete asshole?  
  
He isn’t even really friend with Luca, and maybe didn’t think ahead of his immediate help, but that’s not the point.  
  
[ ~~The point is, he’d be so disappointed if Reborn turns out to be an asshole, and maybe something more and stronger.~~ ]  
  
“That was wrong of you, you do know that?”  
  
Reborn huffs, and it’s the most expressive he ever saw him. ~~Colonnello’s stomach twists, because he wishes it wasn’t anger on his face~~. “That wasn’t any of my business, or yours for that matter. Maybe he deserved it, what do you know?”  
  
Colonnello frowns. “What are you talking about? You don’t deserve to be treated like that, you never do.” Reborn blinks, such confusion on his face, Colonnello almost laughs. He purses his lips instead. “Forget it.”  
  
“What do you care?” Reborn asks before he can turn his back on him. And Colonnello hears it, the way they’re now talking about something else.  
  
“Nothing anymore,” he spits out, and walks away. “Keep all your perfect scores for yourself for all I care.”  
  
Colonnello tries to hold on his anger, but whatever he holds into instead stings his eyes and chokes him up.  
  
[The point is, Reborn did help _him_ , and he doesn’t want to be special _like that_.]

* * *

Colonnello doesn’t forget Reborn’s words.  
  
He’d lie if he said he had thought that far ahead when he stepped in to help Luca, but he can now, and he does.  
  
He befriends him.  
  
True to what Reborn said, at first Luca fearfully pushes him away, but Colonnello is nothing but stubborn.  
  
He sits with him at the cafeteria, runs to his class to hang out during breaks, and takes the long way home so he can walk with him back home to a safe place.  
  
Luca gives in when Colonnello is in a full on brawl with his bullies—and yes he _can_ count, thank you very much, and so he wins—, but then again he jumps in the fight to help him, so he might have given in sooner.  
  
It’s a one step plan that turns out successful, like he had every intention to make it so.  
  
And because it was a one step plan only, he knows it’s no thanks to him Luca's former bullies become the new butt of the joke.  
  
Everyone thinks it is, but every time there’re whispers, or laughs, or falls, dark—dark, _dark—_ eyes—he remembers the color of perfectly despite painstakingly not looking at them anymore—weigh on him.  
  
Reborn turns the chair of the desk in front of his around, and sits. He glances down at his test.  
  
“Are you even trying anymore?”  
  
Colonnello bites down on his quip. He’s nothing but stubborn and difficult, or so his mother swears it up and down at least ten times a month.  
  
“This is wrong too. This isn’t how it works.”  
  
“People do deserve bad things. You’ll learn it sooner than later.”  
  
“You’re wrong,” Colonnello says, on instinct alone. It _sounded_ wrong, and he scrunches up his nose thinking of words he can put on his thoughts. “Because then you can just decide people deserve to be hurt for no reasons.”  
  
“That’s not what ‘deserve’ means, hero.”  
  
Colonnello means to look up in annoyance, he does, but he feels warm on the cheeks and his heartbeat fastens. At least he doesn’t stutter. “Then who gets to decide you deserved it?”  
  
Reborn shrugs. “If it happens to you, then you know you did.”  
  
“Bad things can happen to anyone for no reason! And—who gets to decide what is bad or—or how much bad it is and if it’s bad enough and how bad you can hit back? I do bad things to people sometimes too.”  
  
“ _Stupid_ things maybe,” Reborn says smoothly, but he missed a beat and Colonnello noticed.  
  
Colonnello rolls his eyes. “And am I not to help because I don’t know if they ‘deserved’ it or not? Because then you don’t get to help at all! Or you help too late!” Colonnello blinks, his dad’s words sounding in his head, and he victoriously leans forward. “Bad things sometimes can last even if good things happen, but good things can be taken back and never be given again.”  
  
Reborn’s lips twitch, something between a humorless not-smile and a sneer. He looks down a moment, then up again. “Maybe.”  
  
“Maybe,” Colonnello concedes too. He does, in fact, think these jerks got only what was coming for them, and is entirely happy about it. “And I do know how to count.”  
  
Reborn scoffs. “Barely.” He looks him up and down, and the bruises didn’t all fade away yet.  
  
Colonnello leans against his chair, and crosses his arms on his chest. “You were actually scared, weren’t you? They could have just, I don’t know, _step on you_.”  
  
“You’re hilarious,” Reborn deadpans.  
  
“A flick on your forehead and you’ll fly away.”  
  
Annoyance flashes across Reborn’s face, and Colonnello grins, always delighted whenever he breaks through that perfect composure of his.  
  
Reborn stands and leans on the table, not coming fully as playful even when Colonnello can tell it’s what he meant to be. “ _I_ could step on you, and if you’re lucky you’ll never have to find out it’s the truth.”  
  
And because unlike a certain someone Colonnello is both barks and bites, he swiftly jumps on his feet and headbutts him.  
  
Reborn stumbles back against his chair, but manages to regain his balance before he falls. He holds his hand to his forehead, stunned, and Colonnello makes his grin as taunting as he can.  
  
Reborn bursts out laughing.  
  
Oh.  
  
He laughs himself to tears, has to lean on the table to stay upright, his other hand on his stomach.  
  
He laughs, and laughs, and laughs.  
  
It’s light, and clear, and happy, and Colonnello feels warm all over, can’t look away.  
  
He never sees Reborn’s headbutt coming, and he couldn’t care less.  
  
[Colonnello never stopped studying as seriously as he learned to do. He gave false answers on purpose, because every kid know embarrassment can kill you.  
  
It had nothing to do with a Night Born Boy he would hate of him to think lower of him if he were to come back in his life.  
  
And then he _does_ , and he’s very relieved he’s still a hardworking student.]

* * *

Before the army, then the mafia, Reborn breaks into his room in the middle of the night.  
  
A hand shakes him awake and Colonnello scrambles to the other end of the bed, then to his feet. He grabs his bedside lamp, and raises it as both a warning and a weapon.  
  
He recognizes Reborn before he can scream to warn his parents.  
  
His stomach sinks because Reborn didn’t even close the window.  
  
Reborn stands still, the jacket he never gave back on top of his pajama, his hands in his pocket, and Colonnello hopes not bare foot.  
  
His blue nightlight lights shadows on his blank face, and highlights the blood on his shirt.  
  
The lamp falls on the floor.  
  
Colonnello hurries across his bed, thinks better than touching him, and his heart beats in his ear.  
  
“Is it yours?” Did he talk too loud? Did he speak at all? He can’t wake his parents up—but maybe he should?  
  
His heart beats in his ears, and he fears he won’t hear Reborn either.  
  
“No.”  
  
Colonnello looks him in the eye, and the hollow tone of his voice hurts even more.  
  
He settles his hands on his wrists.

Reborn’s cold—of course he’s cold, he doesn’t live nearby, and went and broke the zipper when Colonnello lent him his jacket. Did anyone see him on his way there?—, and tenses, more so his right hand than anything else.  
  
Colonnello coaxes it out of his pocket, and with it comes out the bloodied knife.  
  
And he _knows_.  
  
No question forms in his mind, because he knows, even if he doesn’t know since when he did.  
  
He coaxes the knife out of his death grip, and puts it down on the bed.  
  
They’ll need to get rid of it later.  
  
“Good,” Colonnello breathes out. He squeezes his hands, and nods. They’ll need to burn down his clothes too. “That’s good.” _That’s good_ , he almost says again, about something else entirely, but it’s not his place to do so. “I’ll give you clean clothes to put on, okay?”  
  
“Okay.” Reborn opens his mouth again, but whatever he was about to say cracks his mask, and he closes it without saying it.  
  
Colonnello cups his face, and gently beckons him closer. He runs his hand through his hair once, silk-like like he always knew they would be, and smiles.  
  
Reborn’s all tensed muscles, and his eyes dark—dark, _dark_ —, but not the way he likes it, and it hurts.  
  
“Stay the night, okay?”  
  
Reborn’s eyes glisten, maybe a trick of the light. It’ll be the trick of the light, if that’s what Reborn wants.  
  
Colonnello bumps his forehead lightly against his when he doesn’t answer, and doesn’t pull away. “Okay?”  
  
Reborn closes his eyes, and pushes back against him. “Okay,” he chokes out.  
  
Colonnello decided the second he saw the blood Reborn spent the evening and the night at his house, but in the end it doesn’t matter.  
  
When he wakes up Reborn is gone, and he knows he won’t see him at school, won’t see him in town, ~~won't see him ever again~~.  
  
He gets rid of the knife and burns the clothes, and smiles when he doesn’t find his jacket.

* * *

[It hurts.]

* * *

When there’s Lal, there’s also Reborn.  
  
Not that Colonnello spends his time looking for him in every people he comes to love, of course not. He loves and respects each of his loved ones too much for that.  
  
He doesn’t love Lal, not at first. But then he _does_ , and—  
  
It’s in the giddy happiness whenever she pays attention to him. It’s in the fullness of his heart at anything that adds to her happiness, in the steel and hurt and anger inside his heart at anything that rips away at her happiness.  
  
It’s in how she laughs, and it’s like the sun shines only for him.  
  
And—  
  
It’s familiar.  
  
It’s new, in how deep it goes, in how more emotionally mature and aware he is, but more importantly it _isn’t_.  
  
It doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t. He’ll never see him again, but oh, he will.  
  
He better.  
  
~~Someone needs to teach him how to at least say goodbye, if he isn’t going to stay.~~

* * *

After the Curse, there’s guilt.  
  
Colonnello doesn’t hesitate when he runs to Lal. He might have had, if he’d let himself think of Reborn.  
  
Colonnello recognizes him at his first word, and doesn’t think about it, about what it means they meet back in that context.  
  
He came with a mission, to cover Lal’s back whatever may come, and he can’t—  
  
He _can’t_.  
  
[Colonnello knows of the World’s Greatest Hitman, of his signature fedora. It’s not that it isn’t who Reborn is, it’s not that he minds it.  
  
But Reborn could have been _so much more_.]  
  
Lal turns into a child same as them, and her grey pacifier must mean he reduced the damage somehow. He looks into Lal’s eyes, and it’s not the eyes of someone who got spared a greater doom.  
  
He doesn’t dare look at Reborn.  
  
[Maybe if he waked his parents up that night, maybe if he even called the police—  
  
It might have been self-defense, but even if it wasn’t, they’d have thought of something.  
  
Maybe if he had done _anything_ different that night, Reborn and him would be together at some fancy college, but instead they lost part of their soul on top of a mountain.]

* * *

When Lal and him go their separate way so they can better find each other again, Reborn ~~doesn’t really~~ stays.  
  
He comes in by the window—was that purposeful?  
  
“Your ugly mug is worse than I remembered it.”  
  
An easy comeback pushes against Colonnello’s lips—a familiar one—, but he swallows it back. “Really? _That’s_ the first words you settled on?”  
  
Reborn twitches, like he was about to jump from the window and properly come in.  
  
He doesn’t.  
  
“I thought you’d be crying your scared shitless mind out, and I could make you beg me for advice.”  
  
“Only in your dreams.”  
  
“But look at those tacky anti-rifles. Compensating for something?”  
  
“Look at your tiny guns and puny bullets. Couldn’t bear the difference in size?” They hold each other gaze, and Colonnello is the one who looks away first. “Look at us. Now we can thoroughly go at the bottom of the meaning of childhood friends.”  
  
“I’m ecstatic.”  
  
Colonnello snorts.  
  
Reborn smiles, something between an actual smile and a not-smile, and relief floods him at the fact he can still tell the difference.  
  
Colonnello purses his lips, but doesn’t manage to smooth out his own smile fully. He wasn’t supposed to fall back so easily in familiar territory, almost _comfortable_.  
  
[ ~~He’s so thankful it’s still an option for them.~~ ]  
  
Reborn huffs. “Rich of you to complain about me much? You couldn’t even look at me.”  
  
“A lot of things were going on,” Colonnello dismisses, and holds back on a wince. He didn’t mean to sound that harsh. “It might surprise you, but you’re not the center of my world.”  
  
_Not anymore_ , Colonnello is sure is heard, but maybe only by his ears.  
  
_Not since you left_ , is written all over Reborn’s face, and Colonnello didn’t mean it to be heard, but both are true.

Heavy silence fills the room until Reborn breaks it.  
  
“You might think being military will give you advantages, but you should know the mafia is another matter altogether. Don’t take it lightly.”  
  
“What are you up to?” Reborn tilts his head, and he rolls his eyes. “I know that face.”  
  
“You used to look forward to it.”  
  
“Not with those eyes, no.” Dark—dark, _dark_ —eyes hold his gaze, and it’s not a shade he’s familiar with anymore, but at that moment it’s not entirely unknown territory.  
  
~~He almost wishes it would be, when a lump in his throat chokes him, and his heart sinks in his stomach.~~  
  
“And you never quite could stop me, could you?”  
  
Colonnello smiles, and it’s more sweet than bitter. He tries the words ‘I wish I could’ in his mind, but they still sound like a lie.  
  
He _knows_ who Reborn is, and they were always willing to meet each other halfway.

Reborn smirks. “As usual your ugly mug was awful to see, hero. Try to survive at least a little.”  
  
“Stay,” Colonnnello asks softly, and doesn’t know if he wants an answer or not.  
  
He doesn’t get one.  
  
Reborn falters, and even hesitates on his way out, but maybe it’s only his eyes.

* * *

Colonnello doesn’t take the mafia lightly.  
  
He tries to mind his business, but no one is willing to overlook the pacifier around their neck. Their mistake.  
  
Colonnello finds his marks in the mafia through assassination attempts and famiglia take downs, and settles himself as a freelance until he maps it whole.  
  
He doesn’t want to affiliate himself with just anyone, though he’s aware they’re all bad apples— ~~and now so is he~~.  
  
Falco lands him on the roof, and all he can think of is food, and maybe a shower if he still has the energy for it.  
  
A bullet to his temple sends him flying, and he groans more out of annoyance than pain.  
  
He rolls to his feet and away from the bullets, and tries to find the assassin in the dark.  
  
He slides under the living room table and cuts through two of its legs, uses it as cover and shots through the wood to where he pinpointed the assassin.  
  
They run from the kitchen to behind the couch—with a suspiciously baby size figure, and he _swears_ if it’s Skull again—, and shot blindly through it with extreme precision.  
  
A bullet grazes his leg, and he dismisses the wound to jump on the couch then over it.  
  
The assassin jumps to dodge the bullet, and headbutts him.  
  
Oh.  
  
Colonnello flips mid-hair, jumps forward as soon as he lands, and slams into Reborn.  
  
They roll on the floor, and he ends up with Reborn on top of him, the barrel of his gun against his forehead.  
  
Reborn tsks. “Pathetic. I could have killed you, I don't know, fifty-six times. _At least_.”  
  
“Reborn.”  
  
“Your security is also pathetic. I know I said you should try to survive a _little_ , but you should aim higher than that.”  
  
“Reborn.”  
  
Reborn smirks. “Missed me?”  
  
Colonnello flips them around. Dark—dark, _dark_ —eyes—of an unknown shade still, but the fact alone he sees them _again_ —look him in the eye, don’t shy away from him.  
  
Something builds up in his throat, maybe a laugh, or maybe he’s about to _snap_ , maybe something else entirely, he doesn’t know.  
  
Maybe it’s just happiness, and sometimes it’s as tumultuous as he feels now.  
  
“Reborn,” Colonnello says again, can’t remember any other words.  
  
“I’ll stay.”

 _If you’ll have me_ isn’t said, but oh, he _hears_ it.  
  
Colonnello makes the weirdest sound, something like a laugh and who knows what else, and maybe that’s what tumultuous happiness sounds like.  
  
He leans his forehead against Reborn’s, and it feels like they both step forward to meet halfway again. “Learn how to announce yourself already, you bastard.” And because he knows a snarky comeback is coming, he leans back and headbutts him. “That’s for the bullet wound.”  
  
Reborn kicks him away, and he laughs.

* * *

[He didn’t teach him how to say goodbye, but maybe he won’t ever have to.]

* * *

When he sees Lal again for the first time after the Curse, it’s all relief.  
  
The meeting is in some fancy building belonging to _the_ Vongola no less, and he smiles because Lal wouldn’t have settled for anything else.

She jumps on him from a hiding place he failed to notice, and he curses inwardly because she won’t fail to point it out in her lecture.

Colonnello stands his ground, and he’d stand it better if he wasn’t fighting against the laugh bubbling in his throat.

[What do you know, you _can_ miss being punched and kicked around.]

Lal pushes him back from one floor to another, and _then_ gets serious.

She picks up her speed, tries to sweep his feet off the ground. Colonnello jumps, grabs her arm and bends it in her back.

Lal grabs him above her shoulder, does _something,_ and throws him over her head.

She looms over him, her hands on her hips, as fierce looking as she ever is. “You got soft. Who said you were allowed to?”

Colonnello grins. “It’s good to see you Lal.”

“You got a bird?”

“A hawk.”

“Bird boy.”

Colonnello laughs, and his heart grows sizes at Lal’s smile.

[It’s _so_ good to know that through thick and thin and a godly Curse, Lal will always be his most serene place on earth.]

“Your new workplace then, uh?” Colonnello looks around the office, sat on the desk table, and he knows Lal will spend little time in it.

Lal shrugs. “We’ll see how it goes.”

“How have you been?”

“Like shit. How have you been?”

“Like awful shit.”

Lal rolls her eyes, but snorts. She shoves his leg, and Colonnello grabs her hand before she can pull away.

“Still living the tomboy life I see.”

“What about my middle finger, do you see it?”

Colonnello chuckles, then bursts out laughing. He grabs her other hand, and cradles both in his. “Yeah, you’re right, keep kicking asses.” He brushes his lips against her knuckles. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Lal huffs, red on the cheeks.

She squeezes his hands.

* * *

[“By the way, I met that Reborn of yours.”

“I _never_ called him mine.”

“He’s my Sun. Ain’t the world a little place?”

“And how does _that_ go?”

“He’s a hot mess of infuriating everything. And enough hot he can be all the mess and infuriating he wants. Terrific combination.”

Colonnello laughs.

Lal looks down, her mind briefly away to someone than turns her fond, makes her smile at the corner of her lips, and it’s not a sight he’s unfamiliar with.

It soothes something in him before it can even take hold.]

* * *

Reborn’s on the move as soon as Viper deactivates the infra-red boundary.  
  
He whistles to Falco, and up he’s flying to his student, and Colonnello jumps on Dino’s shoulder as they all rush after him.  
  
The Varia business could hardly have gone more wrong as it did.  
  
Colonnello was among the lucky one to have his student goes first and win, though his blood boiled when he turned out powerless at the most critical moment.  
  
Reborn’s did too.  
  
[They’re all kids, they often are, and Colonnello resolved a long time ago to at least give them the means to withstand the mafia if he couldn’t keep them out of it.  
  
But then again, withstanding the mafia and shaping them to take on the world bloodiest mafia empire are two different things.]  
  
Reborn wouldn’t have stood for watching their slaughter on screen, none of them would have. They would have found a way to break out of the cage one way or another, but then again...  
  
Maybe his gritted teeth was because of the voice telling him they wouldn’t make it in time.  
  
[Viper is now Mammon, and they don’t know what else changed, but they know their powers didn’t.  
  
They might have lost against Mukuro, but Mukuro wasn’t there.]  
  
Reborn barely stood as it was, his hands in shaking fists.  
  
He locked his jaw tight, his face all hard traits, from worry and anger, and something else in the curl of his lips, in the swirling shadows in his eyes.  
  
Later he might let Colonnello talk about it with him.  
  
Reborn lands in front of an unconscious Tsuna, and stills. He hesitates once as he reaches out, and it’s not only Colonnello’s eyes.  
  
The tension visibly seeps out from his body when he touches Tsuna’s cheek. He pats it, and his other hand twitches to rub at his face.  
  
Colonnello rolls his eyes.  
  
Reborn would rather die than not be the cool guy, it’s nothing new, but it’s ridiculous how hard he tries.  
  
Reborn huffs, kicks Tsuna in the shoulder so much like a petulant child, Colonnello snorts and covers his mouth with his hand.  
  
Reborn crosses his arms on his chest. “Well done Tsuna. Now we can go home.”  
  
_Tsuna_ , Reborn says.  
  
_**Home**_ , he says, so fond and with fonder eyes, it steals Colonnelo’s breath away.  
  
His heart misses a beat, entirely against his will—  
  
Really?  
  
After all this time, all these years?  
  
_Still_?

* * *

Oh.

* * *

_Oh_.

* * *

Oh hell _no_.  
  
This is _so_ embarrassing.  
  
Colonnello will take it to his grave.

* * *

~~Or, at least, he won’t be the one to speak about it first.~~

* * *

Once they're free from the Curse, there’s _something_.  
  
A _lot_ of things.  
  
The ten years memories’ of the Future That Never Was is an _experience_ , especially when you die in them, while leaving behind your most important people in the middle of a war they’re bound to lose.  
  
Then they die too, except one, and you don’t know which is worse.  
  
They don’t talk about it.  
  
Skull jokes about how he feels decades older way past the joke still being funny, Viper avoids him like the plague, Lal bears them all being clingy, they all bear Reborn being clingy, they all look for the Uni of their time, and that’s the extent they talk about it.  
  
When the representative battles start, they’re still very much in the middle of processing the ten years memories.  
  
Being free from the Curse is another type of experience altogether.  
  
A welcome one for sure—so deeply wished for and bitterly given up on—, but uncomfortable to say the least, and _painful_.  
  
Of course it is, there’s no reason magically growing up wouldn’t feel at least as painful as magically growing back.  
  
Except no, because the Present felt perfectly fine, and they can’t be blamed to think Checker Face did it on purpose.  
  
They’re ridiculous not knowing what to do with their suddenly grown up body, failing to make it work the way it’s supposed to, and they all fall on their butt.  
  
They laugh, can’t be bothered to stand back up, and laugh, until their voice are hoarse, and there're tears in their eyes, and it isn’t even funny anymore, and then they laugh some more.  
  
Uni stays with her famiglia, Verde with the Kokuyo gang, Skull with the Shimon, Reborn with Tsuna, and Lal, Fon, Viper and him rent a house together in Namimori.  
  
Reborn _theoretically_ stays with Tsuna anyway, but also physically too somehow, because it’s not like they would know if he could duplicate himself or was a Secondary Mist.  
  
He claims the couch inside the house he doesn’t pay for, and has his stuff all over Colonnello’s room.  
  
And the thing is, it’s harder to deny they’re not attached at the hip when he’s basically their fifth roommates.  
  
Not that there _is_ anything to deny. They simply correct the others who make things out to be deeper than they are.  
  
They’re just…  
  
[Reborn never has been the touching type.

He eased up into it so he could get into physical fights with him, more or less roughhousing with each other; so Colonnello could put his arm around his shoulders, and slap his back, and on the very good days hug him on a daily basis.  
  
Though Colonnello always knew where the line was drawn, and never crossed it again after that day.  
  
After the Future That Never Was, during the brief time they regrouped together, they have a need for physical contact that goes unspoken but acknowledged.  
  
It's nothing more than sitting closer than before, holding on and lingering whenever they happen to touch each other.  
  
They don't let it last and separate again, if only because they need to look for Uni.  
  
It lasts between Reborn and him, ~~but it's something else~~.  
  
It's not one-sided, but Reborn is the one to reach out first, and it's new.  
  
A brush of their shoulders as he walks past him, of their legs as he sits next to him. A touch of their fingers tip whenever they pass each other stuff, lingering touches whenever they get physical, and it wasn’t supposed to mean anything.  
  
Colonnello leans in every time, pushes for more until wherever Reborn lets him, and holds his breath as he pushes further and _further_ each time.  
  
It's subtle, but by no means goes unnoticed, but maybe it’s only because it’s him and it’s Reborn.  
  
His touch has something out of clumsiness, but more like hurriedness. It’s possessive and urgent, lets go like Reborn won’t ever have the chance to do it again.  
  
~~Colonnello never gets used to it. He comes to expect it, but it burns his skin and shakes him to his very core,~~ ~~brands itself to it~~ ~~every time like the first time.~~  
  
Reborn is subtle and it could have gone unnoticed, but he keeps doing it again and again, and Colonnello leans in again and again, and then Reborn _leans back_.  
  
It goes unacknowledged.

 ~~Especially when it sparks something else than their skin,~~ ~~or~~ ~~when they catch each other’s eye and can’t look away~~.]  
  
...catching up.  
  
[Reborn and him stayed in touch all these decades, but it’s hard to do anything meaningful with a Curse around your neck.  
  
It’s hard to breath and always be out of breath all the same, let alone grab on happiness and not have it tainted by an ever going doom, if not have it crushed entirely.  
  
~~Better not have it at all, Colonnello almost gives in some days, but it’s the only thing that keeps him going.~~  
  
Nothing is harder than speaking of days gone that’ll never be again, when they can barely bear to remember them themselves.]  
  
A _**lot**_ of things happen they won’t talk about nor name, but it’s definitely _not_ as deep as the others want to make them out to be.  
  
“What are you even doing?”  
  
Reborn looks Viper dead in the eye, and sprawls himself more comfortably on top of Colonnello, himself laid down on the couch. “Asserting dominance. What does it look like?”  
  
Colonnello scoffs. “Fuck off, you don’t live here.”  
  
“You’re both ridiculous,” Viper says, and goes back to their game of cards with Fon. “Why don’t you make out already?”  
  
Reborn and Colonnello stare at each other, and make equal face of disgust.  
  
“Never.”  
  
“I’d rather die.”  
  
“As you wish.”  
  
Reborn presses a pillow against his face, and Colonnello twists and pushes back until he has Reborn into a lock, an arm around his neck and half his weight crushing him against the couch.  
  
“Don’t you have a student to teach?” Fon asks.  
  
“I’m being merciful and giving him some time off. I can’t have him getting used and complacent to my ways.” Reborn scoffs. “Aren’t _you_ yourself a tutor?”  
  
“One of the good ones though, I’m afraid.”  
  
Viper and him snort, and Reborn narrows his eyes. The mirth in Fon’s eyes only turn more obvious.  
  
“Bitch.”  
  
Fon laughs, and gracefully doesn’t comment.  
  
The door opens and closes. Lal’s footsteps comes closer until she enters his sight. She raises an eyebrow at them.  
  
“What are you doing?” She raises her hand. “Wait no, I don’t care. Move over.”  
  
Colonnello makes to, but she flops on top of them before he can. Reborn has none of it.  
  
“Excuse you, you heavyweight stupid soldiers. Get off my slender, delicate frame _right now_.”  
  
Lal grabs his chin and tilts his head her way. “‘Please Ma’am.’"  
  
Reborn catches her eye, and something in them and in the sound of Lal’s voice waters the bud of hope inside Colonnello as he snickers.  
  
[He hopes it’ll grow and bloom beautifully.]

* * *

Reborn never stays the night, but leaves only in its late hours.  
  
It’s easier to talk in these moments, to catch up on all the missed steps during their years apart, on the other half of the half steps they did during their cursed decades.  
  
They are yet to share the bed. Instead they lie down on the floor on top of blankets, and with no little amount of pillows.  
  
They stay in the dark except for Colonnello’s nightlights, and if someone had told him he’d do sleepovers with Reborn again, he’d have wished they were right.  
  
Maybe it’s because of the sleepovers' aspect of it they do no little amount of giggles, and jokes, and gossips.  
  
Some nights Lal is there, lies down in front of them, but then they form a circle, equally close to each other.  
  
The blue and yellow glow of the nightlights light Reborn’s and Lal’s face in soft hues, highlights the amused curl of their lips, and the affection in their eyes as they sharply mock each other.  
  
~~The~~ y’re so pretty.  
  
At the latest hours of the night they’re only hushed tone, and more heartfelt whispers than they meant.  
  
It’s his favorite thing in the world to watch Reborn averts his eyes from Lal’s words, the happy little smile at the corner of his lips at her touch.  
  
Colonnello smiles when he catches his eye, and dark—dark, _dark_ —eyes don’t look away even when pink dusts his cheeks, and Colonnello smiles wider because of it.

* * *

[What does it matter if he’s the one to speak of it first?  
  
It’s not so much unsaid than said in already so different ways so many times, words will fall short of conveying it all.]

* * *

[Not many people get to die and realize so thoroughly there’s no time to lose even if you’re cursed to see it go on and go on, and any cursed time is worth acting upon than no time at all.]  
  
[How incredibly lucky they have been, to see their death and _live_ to make sure it won’t leave so much behind as it never did.]

* * *

The bar is of good taste, warm and cozy and with good background music, Colonnello will give Skull that. He becomes fond of it.  
  
Skull raises his glass. “To our newly uncursed life. Cheers!”  
  
“Cheers!” Uni is the only one to say, standing so she can knock her glass against Skull’s.  
  
“You do know alcohol is a drug people can become addicted to?” Verde asks.  
  
“Don’t worry, we have decades worth of catching up with sweet, sweet, Happiness Drink.”  
  
“That’s not how it works.”  
  
“And please, do not downplay the dangers of alcohol in front of Uni,” Fon says.  
  
Skull rolls his eyes. “Jeez, I wasn’t aware I invited such killjoys. Come on Uni, let’s go make the coolest table for the only cool Arcobaleno.”  
  
“Former,” Viper corrects.  
  
Skull holds Uni’s hand over the table as he makes his way to her, which stops him from falling when Reborn trips him.  
  
“If you let her drink _anything_ but—”  
  
“Can’t disobey you if I didn’t hear you,” Skull hurries to cut him off. “Uni, run!”

They run away laughing, and there’s more than one eye roll around the table.  
  
“I’ll go join the coolest table too,” Fon says. “Someone needs to watch over Skull as he watches over Uni.”  
  
Fon takes one for the team, and they honor his sacrifice by indulging themselves in the Happiness Drink.

Soon—or maybe not, maybe he indulged himself too much in the Happiness Drink—, Lal and Verde and Viper move to the foosball, with Viper taking bets.

Lal wins all the rounds, and he considers going over there too so he can kiss the cocky, smug smirk on her lips.  
  
“I won’t be the one carrying your drunk ass home.”  
  
Colonnello blinks, and needs a moment to remember he has his head on the table. He rests it on his crossed arms, and looks up at Reborn.  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
“How many fingers I’m holding up?”  
  
Colonnello raises his middle finger. “How many fingers I’m holding up?”  
  
Reborn huffs a laugh, ever the elegant, put together one, even if he knows he drank at least as many drinks as him.  
  
He nurses his drink on his lap, his legs crossed, long eyelashes almost touching his cheeks as he looks down upon him.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You never said goodbye.”  
  
To his surprise Reborn’s smile doesn’t falter. It disappears, but Reborn looks steady and _ready_ , and it alleviates something inside him. “No, I didn’t.”  
  
“I cried you know.”  
  
Reborn blinks, then laughs. He catches himself and covers his mouth with his hand, but there're obvious crinkles at the corner of his eyes.  
  
The gleam in his eyes is softer than Colonnello ever saw it, and it’s for _him_ , and it warms him more than any alcohol could ever hope to do.  
  
“Did you now?”  
  
And maybe Colonnello really is drunk, because the words he meant to say to lighten the mood aren’t the ones that come out of his mouth. “I did.”  
  
Reborn puts his drink away on the table. He rests his head on his crossed arms, and they breathe the same air.  
  
“I’m sorry.”

For a second Colonnello thinks it's a trick of the music, or _something_ , but the expression on Reborn's face is one he had yet to see.  
  
“Damn _._ You're right, I _am_ really completely wasted.”  
  
Reborn kicks his shin. “Shut the fuck up, hero.”  
  
Colonnello laughs, never looking away from him once, and revels in something long overdue, [ ~~and watches it falls from Reborn’s shoulders as he laughs.~~ ]  
  
“I used to think I needed to teach you how to say goodbye whenever I’d see you again.”  
  
“What changed?”  
  
Colonnello shrugs. “You said ‘hello’ again before I could.”  
  
“Oh, I was on thin ice, wasn’t I?”  
  
Colonnello kicks his shin. “You’re still on thin fucking ice, Night Born Boy, don’t kid yourself.”  
  
Reborn blinks. Colonnello blinks. Reborn grins, and it’s hidden behind his arms, but it glows like the sun in his eyes. Colonnello’s cheeks burn, and it’s not the alcohol.  
  
“Oh, shut it.”  
  
“Absolutely never.” Reborn laughs, dark—dark, _dark_ —eyes like the sun, and it might have just become Colonnello’s favorite shade of his eyes. “Hero.” Reborn rises on his arms to be even closer, and they’d touch if Colonnello rises his head only a little. “You’ll never have to expect a goodbye from me again.”  
  
Colonnello rises his head, and their noses brush together. “I’ll hold you to that.”  
  
They grab their drink and straighten in their seat. Skull crashes on the table, and it splits in more than two pieces.  
  
He laughs. They roll their eyes.  
  
“Uni better be safe Skull,” Reborn warns. Colonnello takes a look around, and oh, there’s a bar fight going on.  
  
“Sorry Sir, did I interrupt your eye-fucking? Or was that an almost kiss? I couldn’t take a good look.”  
  
He makes to stand up, but Reborn pushes him down with his foot. “Don’t start fights you can’t win.”  
  
“I didn’t start it!”  
  
“Yes you did.”  
  
Skull giggles. “Yes I did.” He makes to stand up again, but Colonnello pushes him down with his foot. “Oh my _god_. Is it my fault you can’t hear the truth?”  
  
“Reborn got it wrong,” Colonnello says, ignoring him, “you need to _finish_ the fights you start no matter what. Get back out there.”  
  
Skull huffs and sits up, dusts himself off. “I was _going to_ , thank you very much. Anyway, I crash on your table and you aren’t going to step up for me?” He side-eyes them. “What do I even call you ‘Sir’ for?”  
  
“I sure hope not by kinkiness,” Reborn says.  
  
“You never know,” Skull shots back easily, and Colonnello snorts.  
  
“I get it, here.” He reaches in his pocket, and drops money on his lap. “Up you go now.”  
  
Skull blinks at it for one good, long moment. He picks it up, a frown between his brows, and tilts his head. “Do you need me to lend you money?”  
  
Reborn bursts out laughing. Then Colonnello does too, and every time they look at each other it sends them off for another round.  
  
They laugh, and laugh, and cheers to their newly uncursed life indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- crush at first sight, ikr? (but then he just never grows out of it)  
> \- i know i was very subtle with it, but colonnello loves reborn's eyes the most  
> \- I couldn't resist some arco bonding time, I love them all that's why
> 
> My Colonnellos always come out so much softer and morally good than canon, and I'm not sorry about it. Though it _would_ be interesting to explore his canon self, especially his soldier/mafia side. Maybe one day.
> 
> Also I'm not sure if I said it yet, but I have a really soft spot for ColoReborn, so I hope to do them justice with this story.
> 
> Reborn's POV is next!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Any and all reviews are appreciated. Thank you for reading!
> 
> \--- w_h


End file.
